My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
