Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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