I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Watching her eat just hurts me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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