Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so let's talk penis.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
