Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
