I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize