I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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