I hate your face
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We left an ass print on the piano.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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