It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
