SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
