it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
