She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize