You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
