Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Who wears a wallet chain?!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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