my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
