I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
