I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
