she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
