She is in my trunk
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
