I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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