when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
