Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
