please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
