So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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