Are we in a gay sports bar?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
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I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize