Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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