But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
