using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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