ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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