In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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