I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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