Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
