Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
