Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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