Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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