I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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