I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got inside last night via doggy door
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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