I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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