LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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