the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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