The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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