We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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