So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
home. puking in laundry basket.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
