She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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