I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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