I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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