I hate your face
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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