You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
