i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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