Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
a search helicopter?!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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