My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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