how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
