god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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