i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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