I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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