He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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