I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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