How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Farmville is her only friend.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
