she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
